Living In Fear

I'm so f**k up man... Serious shit... I can't be going on like this for too long... I gotta stop this... I hate it knowing I'm emotionally disturbed.. Always tend to do and say things with my feeling when I'm high and tipsy.... Seriously this shit need to stop but how..? I can't just gave up drinking like that....Haiz It's so f**k up... No I'm not down because someone don't have interest in me or like me.. But I'm emotionally down cuz I still haven't gotten over Jovin really well.... Or maybe I bring myself down to a lower level..? I don't know... Though I don't like to compare other people, I feel so f**k up about myself.. :( I feel like a lower cast ppl... Basically because of the way I look... I hate it... I really hate looking mean and aggressive... I just want people to know who I really am.. The friendly happy go lucky guy... Seriously ppl always think that I'm a gangster... Well I really wish to faster graduate and be a successful person.. By the time I won't care much about what others think about me.. I will be busy working onboard and will be going holiday around the world... Also seriously I need to stop sympathizing people... Yesterday I was tipsy and I end up giving my number to an indonesian girl in the pub... My friend said she was a singer there... Well, seriously I'm not interested in her... Maybe She think I like her cuz I give her the attention when she talk abt her sad stories.. But if ever ppl know ever, just remember when I say now, I don't have anything or love or have a crush on her... I was just being too nice to talk to her and entertain her... That's all.... All I want now is to do well in my studies and score and pass my Oral exam in 2 to 3 years time.. I wanna work and go around the world!! :) That is all I really wish for.. I just wanna be happy and want everyone in this world to live a happy life... :)