Living In Fear

My heart is beating and it's beating too fast.... Come to think about it, I did something brave this morning... But I hope it don't chase her away... Now I'm really afraid of the consequences... Maybe she can be someone ordinary we might meet in the street but to me, she is someone that left me clueless... She was the kinda girl I think I will get comfortable with... Sadly there is still many things which I have to know more but too bad as I don't have much time to communicate with her... Sadly, this is my life of a seamen... Friends advice me to be brave and be straight about how I feel, some say It's ok to do stupid things for the sake but I really not sure if I ever did the right thing... I just don't know the way.... Now I'm worried.. I never even login my facebook since then... I was afraid to know and to see.... Oh pls help me but I really don't know what to do... When I'm hiding things inside of me, she don't notice my existence... But at the same time, I know it is not right to some people for doing such thing... Damn, I might had embarrassed her... Now I don't know what is the right thing to do... Should I even login my facebook...? Seriously I'm really scared... Whatever it is, I hope she is ok with it.... Seriously sometimes I can be so dumb that when I do things, I don't think with my brain but I let my heart react.... Sometimes the outcome turns out bad.... That's why it's sux to be me... I hope at the next moment, I can do something right... I hope my heart is able to use my brain to think.... Gotta knock off.. Nite guys... :)