Living In Fear

I have serious problem deciding my future... I get many advices from friends but in the end it came to one thing, I have to decide.... Deciding is the hardest part in life especially something that will effect our future path.....haiz I dunno what more I want in life... Dying is even better because we don't have to think so much.... I wish god could take my life away so I could rest in peace... I won't try it again this time but I just hope I get into a very bad accident and lost myself instead of surviving handicap...lol Seriously I can't make up my mind.. And to my lazy father, he had been a fucking burden to me.... I wish he could just go away and let me have my own life.... His damn mistake is to born me and to give me extra hardship because of people like him....Haiz Seriously I can't think.. I try to apply for Navy but there were no response.... Can't really think anymore.... :(