Living In Fear

Hi Good day everyone.... I'm getting over with the death of my dad. Nothing to be really sad about actually cuz I'm quite an independent guy. The death of my dad can be quite a shock but the sadness doesn't have to be prolong. I need to be more independent physically, mentally and emotionally. I think that is one of the best thing I need to practice. If I'm not physically confident in myself, how am I gonna attract the girl of my life right? Mentally cuz I can'r depend on my siblings for help. Since they have their own life and responsibility, I never wanna be a burden to any of them. I just respect them as a family and be one of the good role model to my nephews and nieces. I wanna be someone who they look up to in the future. At least they know they still have someone like me in the family. Emotionally, that is my weak point and I know that. I need to be emotionally strong myself so in the future I can be a strong emotional support to my girlfriend/wife and my children. So far nothing great has been going on in my life. I haven't date any girl other than my admirer Clara!! She's lovely but I guess she's not meant for me. Well, I try hard enough but I guess she do have her own criteria for a guy. But it's great to be her friend anyway. I have good friends around and my new classmate are awesome. I do still have my break with my last semester classmate at times. My ex girlfriend, she's wonderful. Though she is not part of my life anymore, I think she makes a good friend in giving me honest opinions and advice. Virgo huh, what can I say... I really believe in the traits of the horoscope. Anyway, I really working hard this semester onward but as always, the numbers in my modules screwing up my studies. I had been bad with numbers recently. This month I'm doing tough module like Statistical Methods for Engineering, Operation Planing and Engineering Cost Decision. Those are tough module but I thanks god cuz one of the tough module for Statistical Methods For Engineering, though I was really weak in that, I do work hard and got a straight 5 "A"s in a row for that module. Still I gonna work hard on my UT. I'm gonna score that better than Mathematics 2! Engineering Cost Decision is actually a module that can be absorb if we are taught the right way but the facilitator fucking monotone. He is such a pain in the arse. I try really hard to give my best in the module but seriously, the way the faci taught bring down our motivation. Always on his "Rezources" accent and now he's a fucking joke in the class. I'm having a 2 weeks study break now. Working life has also been a struggle since Rachael left.. Sigh..... She's one of my best manager. Now I hardly can work the schedule I want. The new supervisor which is my own friend that I brought in taking care of the schedule. Got a friend as a supervisor also no use, thing is still hard for me.. My schedule is so low that I earn less and it always disrupt my monthly budget. I try to look around for new job but kinda hard with my tattoo, piercing and long hair.. It really sucks... I don't mind getting neat but I just have a plan.. Not this year... I will definitely go for a makeover before my attachment. I want the WOW!! hahahaha Okay my course having this inter poly SLA Supply Chain Management Challenge. I'm joining it. I hope I can learn something there and have contacts with the experience people in the industry. I just wanna secure my future and I want my good life.. I'm serious about this. I want my children to have a life their father never had. Taking good care of my wife living a loving life with my family and change the perspective of the public about the guy with the tattoos. I'm also looking into doing volunteer counselling if I could as a hobby to make this world a better place to live in. Also this upcoming week I'm busy getting prepare for the Sasuke Ninja Warrior competition. Oh well, I know that I won't be making far but I just wanna see my capabilities and have the fun experience of it. Well if I really get to go that far, Please do come in and support me guys!! hahahaha Anyway Now I'm gonna start doing my revision for my upcoming understanding Test!! ;)