I'm just a man...

Well she seems that I'm strong.. I may not be crying but all I can say is that my heart is bleeding.. I fucking love you so much Mishyl, why u have to do this to me? What did I ever did to make u do all these? I am just a normal man. i do get jealous when u are attached but exchanging numbers or talking to other men especially perverts isn't necessary.. Countless times I told u but u dun believe me... Just look at the men u talk to, u say he ain't pervert.. But what did he told u if u guys meeting? We can have sex? Gosh Mishyl, I really hope u wake ur mind up... If u think all men are the same, I tell u that you are absolutely wrong... U treat the fuck up men so well but u treat rge good men fucked up..... U even planned to meet them and I cant stop you because you count us as officially break.... I have no power to go against anything... All I wish is you step back on ur words and see what went wrong.... Before you lost us, I can guarantee that u wont easily find some one like me other than Tyong... I hope you are well protected Mishyl, I love you..... :'(

Wonder

Sometimes I really wonder what it takes to be a good boyfriend.. Sigh I felt like all I did for her wasn't enough.. Sometimes when I am not wrong she makes it seems I am. Is it wrong for a boyfriend to get jealous when his girlfriend giving her attention on entertaining other guys? Sometimes I'm really upset cuz even she know a guy is a pervert, she still attend to their conversation or wish to talk or answer their call.. What really worries me cuz even at times she tell people that we just recently attached though we have been together for like 5 months.. I just don't and never will understand what she really want.. At a point of time, she tells me that I'm the only one for her but at another, she will be attracted to other guys and attend to their convo or favourite them in an online dating site. yes she does give me her password sometimes but still, she say she was there for a chat.. Even for a chat, she chose the person she wanna talk to.. According to her, she choose someone who can start a convo.. But sometimes some of these fool who just say hi also she attend to just because they are young and they look cool.. Now tell me why I shouldn't be worried about? When I ask her and pointed out my point, she will just get mad at me. What kind of relationship did I stucked into? I really never want this but at the same time I really love her.. There is really no compromise going on.. I stop chatting and making friends with the opposite partner ever since I'm with her.. I gave all my attention to her all the time I could but why am I getting all this bullshit? I don't think I deserve this.. Even when I'm very sad, I got to put a happy face upfront. No point I'm being upset cuz she will be pissed anyway.. Do I really deserve all this? My love is being taken for granted and I feel like I was being tortured emotionally.. All this happen because I love.... Damn!! :( I never would be happy if all the while I was treated like this .. I hope god show me the right way and save me from all this pain... I hope someday her mind and heart will be open and understand how she had been treating me all these while and stop doing that.... :')

Well well well..... After so long since I left blogger and now I'm back.... Okay how should I start? Hmmmmm.. Alright I shall talk about skool 1st... Skool was pretty okay and now I'm on the holiday.... Starting my 3rd year soon and I can't wait for my internship. Today a bad day cuz the part time job showed me that they are a fucked up employer... Well well I hope and I believe bad things will come to their business.... Hey and about my personal life if you hadn't notice it, well I am attached to a filipina girl now... Moving on after Jovin however she is still a good friend to me... Well I have no say much about the current relationship because it hasn't beat my past... Yet I dunno why I give so much to the current relationship but still I feel kinda shaky and insecure.... There wasn't assurance for this relationship that I am in. It is so confuse that I have to accept the fact that she might be sleeping with someone else if she go back to her home country... Tell me how else can I feel and how much dilemma I was put in to make that decision... I have to accept that or else she will not be returning to singapore... Just because I love her so much I have to accept that... Seriously I felt hurt but I have to accept that just because I really wanna save our relationship... However I always hope whatever way I'd been treated, I pray they get back 10 times worst.... Haiz Seriously I'm fucking sick being treated this way... If only you people know what kind of relationship I am in, then u will understand the shit I'd been thru on this current relationship.....