So t has been a long weekend started from Good Friday... But kinda busy weekend for me... I went over to Vietnam to fetch my ex gf to Singapore.... I realize it was rather an odd meet up over there... We never talk much... Maybe she try to start a conversation with me but the way I replied was kinda unwillingly cuz I don't know what to say. I feel a little weird to see her again... I left singapore on friday and I was pretty sick and down with flu on that day.. So that kinda also give a reason why I don't talk much... We spend friday nite dringing with some of her friends whom I know and we end up in the same hotel just having her sleeping beside me. Honestly I feel so good when I get to hug and smell her... It kinda warm my heart... However nothing really happen. We just spend the whole nite sleeping and hugging each other to sleep. I have to return Singapore on saturday because I have to do a follow up on one of the vessel. The vessel port call will be in Singapore on saturday to deliver their main engine spindle for servicing. I have to arrange for the company to go to our vessel to collect the spindle. I guess that was the hardest part as the planning wouldn't always falls into place. The timing when the vessel arrive singapore changes and I need to update the technician just so they wouldn't miss to collect the spindle or there is extra charges for the long berthing in singapore seas. So saturday we came back safely to Siingapore. The moment the plane touch the ground, I make a call to the supplier just to make sure all the work was done and the Man Engine Spindle has been collected. Then have to email my supt just to let them aware of the process that takes place. Okay another part at the custom. My ex gf was not allow for a long stay in Singapore. She was only given a week in Singapore. I waited for her over 3 hour at the custom when she got hold up. Feeling worried and was glad when she was released. It sadden me more when on our way back, I saw her tears rolling when she told me that she was given only a week stay in Singapore.. I was rather shocked as she did have her own money and why the custom (dog) officer only give her a week? Fucking dogs!! You people who work for dogs are eventually are dog yourself... Carry the Lee's balls and trust me, when you are dead, your grave gonna sink!! Okay so my ex never got a long stay. I send her to JieJie place and they were all shocked. Probably I'm gonna call the ICA and seek some clarification about this... So after I send my ex to JieJie place on saturday, then I rush over to my younger sis birthday chalet.. Honestly I was really tired but I do not wanna upset my only sis... So went over, eat and spend the nite there... Now I'm back home and blogging... JieJie says that she would wanna come over to my place later with my ex gf... Honestly it thrills me but I wouldn't know how to react... Eventually me and Tuyet is nothing more than just Ex...

Things at work has been going smoothly for me. Manager says I'm a fast learner and I'm learning too fast....LOL Of course I wanna make sure what the company is paying me every month is worth.. Anyway it's my passion!! I am doing my best to understand how things work.. I even figure out how to easily know how the world timing work and now I get to understand a bit. Who know someday I will handle ships that is going US and europe? At least I know what is the best time for me to liase with my overseas supplier... Better still if they send me overseas to oversee the vessel doing dry dock..... My company is also gonna get couple of other technical assistant to work with me because my colleague is leaving for studies... Manager say I am way too fast and he feel bad as he don't have much time to teach me as he prefer me to go slow. I always get my work done especially emailing the PO to the suppliers. I don't like to keep on waiting or else sure forget. Once in my personal meeting with him, he was asking if I am okay with the job and I say of course but I feel I have not learn much but he say that actually I'm too fast. He told me to go get a hobby and find a girl, and he repeat many girls so I don't get occupied with work. hahaha He is so hilarious. I then told him that why I want this kind of job is because I want to move on and not think about girls. I want to keep myself busy with doing something useful for me. Today get to do a lot more PO and I think I am getting better at it. Still do make mistakes though but I will learn. He also give me some extra knowledge and he want to teach me more someday. He sounds weird though cuz he keep mentioning about me being senior someday and all... I think it was way too fast to talk about all that. Now all I want to do is give my very best for my work and plan for my future. Life is kinda boring at times too.. I still do skouting but my intention there was just to chat and make friends. Of course the pretty girls don't reply because they think their pussy have pearl!! -.- Ain't life cruel? People say money don't mean a thing but money is worth so much... What are we living for? There is no one that could love you more than you could do to yourself. Of course there is no one who love you like God loves you... Now I'm still not up there but someday when I'm up there, I will sure make all women feels pathetic... I will make them realize what money can turns me into..... Yeah I'm soft-hearted but this heart with turns hard someday. Just need to keep the ball rolling.... Today CheChe call me... I don't know what she's up to but she told me my ex is coming singapore. So I say ok.. I told her I don't wanna be angry with anyone as I got everything in place and I just want no enemies around me. I want to work my way up there... She sounds ok but she ask me a favor to help her which I do not know what she gonna ask for. So now I'm just waiting for her to come to my place. Chances are she might want me to bring my ex gf here to singapore. I really have no idea though but it will be hard to answer her if that's her favor. I just don't wanna make used by people again... I still do miss my ex though but her attitude still remains the same... As cold as before but lets not talk about it. My sister wants to bring me to a malay club tonight... If luck is good I might just bring a bitch home with me.... Tomorrow still need wake up early to go my friend solemnization. She invited me and really wants me to be there.. She is my ex classmate who used to have a crushed on me actually back then....LOL She's nice though... My halfday starts only on the 26th of this month.... You can never force someone to love you, that's a fact... I'm gonna start loving myself so much and pampered myself with lots of things on payday... I'm not gonna give shit to any bitches and when I start to be arrogant, that's when you bitches will realize you're only worth my penny....

It's the beginning of my new career. Of course there was good moments and bad ones.. The sad part is that Keppel Offshore Marine just called me this morning to set me up for an interview for the position I want in the operation department. The saddest thing is that I have to reject their offer cuz I am now with SeaChange Maritime!! Yeah that was so fucking sad.. It's like watching a lump sum of money passed me by... Yeah they have a bonus of at least 4 to 6 months and good pay and all but I have to reject them. Anyway I'm gonna take it as their loss for getting back to me late as I am the best in the world they could have had.....LOL Okay I have been a week with SeaChange Maritime.... The job not practically tiring but my mind was rather tiring to have to know the basics and fundamental of the shipping technical operations. I have to also recalled all the short terms used in the shipping language and also, brush off my geography. From what I see, yeah this is a very important job with high responsibility. I will need to have quick analytic thinking. I do have to make plans in advance just so my work is not messed up which I think I am quite good at it. The most important is I have to always be available anytime anywhere. My insurance is fully covered under my company. At times I will have to go for vessel visit during dry dock to make sure all technical aspect of the vessel face no problem. At times they will need to fly me overseas too depending on where the vessel is doing dry dock. My colleagues are awesome. They are nice friendly people but I try not to talk so much. Guess I'm just a shy person after all...LOL Now I just wanna have my focus on my career and earn more money. I need a good make-over of myself. I have a feeling that my character towards women might soon change after I have money.. Oh well, women has taught me a lot... You are nobody without money but when I have the money, I will make sure they are nobody to me.... hahahahaha All I ask for is God to numb my heart, to not make me fall in love again.... Yeah this world is bitterly cold, It's better to make my heart cold just so it could survive in this environment.... The good guys is always being treated like shit.. The bad guys are still enjoying themselves having all the bitches drooling over them... I might as well be a bad guy cuz honestly, there is no fucking angel... Angel are just in heaven playing chess while watching fools like us make believe love is real. It's sick sometimes to see you're being block and unblock all the time but I guess that's her happiness... Proud to be with a matrep baru naek... I believe if the bf were in boys home with me sure kene maen jubor... Well what can I say cuz women only love asshole these days.... Oh ya have I mention my company got me a laptop and Iphone which line is fully paid by the company every month? hahaha Yeah, guess I was lucky... Most of my friend got a fulltime job with 1.7 and 1.8k monthly.. I got 2k... There is nothing more I could ask for.. I just wanna learn and find better opportunity in life....

Does anything really make sense? Been smoking back since I started my part time job doing delivery assistant.... It's more of a tiring job but at least I enjoy doing it. Of course my boss enjoy my company talking shit while he drives because I'm absolutely certified cockster.....LOL We had a good time and I do share my opinion on his business and things he can look into. He was also kinda sad when he know I can't work for him long enough because I got a career in hand.. I try to make myself happy though when I know deep down I'm not okay.. Hell who cares? My 2nd day pay, I bought a guitar pedal for the purpose of making riffs to the new song I plan to write. However the next day I drop my guitar and the neck and headstock were dismembered..... I got it fix today however it is not completely fixed. Still not sure if this can work after being fixed... If not probably have to change the body for the guitar.. The next song I'm gonna write about is gonna be meaningful one... Probably about some asshole? I have no idea but we'll wait and see....LOL Have you gotten that feeling where at times you were blocked and unblocked from communication? Hahaha Yeah it look stupid but honestly I feel hurt at times... Anyway it's for her own benefit anyway cuz if her bf finds out abt me, probably her worthless boyfriend will have a street fight with her..... So I just let it be la... As long she is safe, that shouldn't bother me.... So the 2rd interview with the HR manager was good... I was impress when she say she is happy to find a young individual like me for the company... Young? I was lost....lol Anyway as long she happy can ler.. I wanna put my next focus on my career, then slowly get things done... I wanna put braces, modified my house like buying new wardrobe, new bed and slowly refurbish my house. How I wish I have a women to help me out in this......LOL I believe I will be fine doing it alone...

Finally after seeing Wendy's blog, I start to understand more better... Yes she is indeed a sweet little girl who have been made use and abused by her current relationship.. I really try my best, I really try so hard, I even give her the most logical reason why things between her and that douche can't carry on but still she wanna choose him. Probably because he have a big bike? I don't know what the fuck it is but honestly it hurt me so bad.... I gotta move on and leave her just the way she wants to be. You can't help anybody if they refuse to help themselves... I still respect her though and again, what happen between me and her I did not take it as a free ride because I really love her... Maybe you guys can say she take me for a free ride and I don't mind.... I don't mind people know that I'm being made a fool because I am a fool to always give in to the creature women.... I'm really, really so sick and tired...... Maybe you have to realize you lost the moon while you're too busy counting the stars.....

So my love life with Mishyl actually ended in 16th October 2013.... The that is the day that she went back to Philippine and admit to me that she cheated on me by having sex with a malay guy in his car. The sad part is the guy is a fucking matrep... So what, she's proud of that?? We straight away stop all communication. It's really hard to move on. I move on by turning my love towards her to hatred. Towards the end of the year in November, I met this Vietnam girl name Tuyet. She was so sweet at the time. I mean by chance it happen when I was in an emo state after my break up with Mishyl. I can't eat and sleep well. She was there and always make me feel better. I really thought we were meant to be together but, it never really last. There is a communication barrier between us. The love life ended in March 2014 on my fucking birthday. Well that was the worst birthday party ever and the most shitty birthday gift I received. It's really sad after all that I'd done. I really loved her so much. My best friend Tommy knows about it. Tommy even realize Tuyet was really stubborn and since she is, she will never learn her mistake. So by hook or by crook, I have to move on. I continue my life feeling so pathetic. I had been shit relationship all the time and hoping I learn so much but I guess I never.. My mistake is because I love so much. I recently start playing this flirting aps again. I met this chinese girl name Wendy. She is the sweetest thing ever. However my heart is still cautious about her motive. Honestly she is really nice. She looks pretty decent, cute and a lil beautiful. What attract me the most is her character. She is not judgemental type like those typical chinese girls. I tend to fall deeper and deeper in every conversation we had. It come to a point of time where I really scared to fall in love with her because I'm afraid of hurting her. But honestly I really want the best for her. 2 to 3 days later we end up meeting. We had deep conversation, I give her a hug. When I hug her, it tells me not to let her go. It really hit so hard that I really want this girl. I really want to love her and give her the love she deserve. I know I was afraid of hurting her. But thinking back, her current bf at that time is a real ASSHOLE!! Even if I would have to hurt her, it won't be as painful as what he did. I rather be the one that hurt her than him. It hit me so hard that I really have to fight for her. But then again, she think we're going way too fast. Well I have to agree to that. I can accept to go slow with it but I can't accept if her asshole boyfriend going to still be with her and hurt her more. Something have to be done. But I will just wait for her right time. I hope God open up her heart and tell her the right thing to do. I am right here princess and you deserve to be in my arm. I fall again but I hope I won't fall onto the deathbed again.... :(