Living In Fear

Things at work has been going smoothly for me. Manager says I'm a fast learner and I'm learning too fast....LOL Of course I wanna make sure what the company is paying me every month is worth.. Anyway it's my passion!! I am doing my best to understand how things work.. I even figure out how to easily know how the world timing work and now I get to understand a bit. Who know someday I will handle ships that is going US and europe? At least I know what is the best time for me to liase with my overseas supplier... Better still if they send me overseas to oversee the vessel doing dry dock..... My company is also gonna get couple of other technical assistant to work with me because my colleague is leaving for studies... Manager say I am way too fast and he feel bad as he don't have much time to teach me as he prefer me to go slow. I always get my work done especially emailing the PO to the suppliers. I don't like to keep on waiting or else sure forget. Once in my personal meeting with him, he was asking if I am okay with the job and I say of course but I feel I have not learn much but he say that actually I'm too fast. He told me to go get a hobby and find a girl, and he repeat many girls so I don't get occupied with work. hahaha He is so hilarious. I then told him that why I want this kind of job is because I want to move on and not think about girls. I want to keep myself busy with doing something useful for me. Today get to do a lot more PO and I think I am getting better at it. Still do make mistakes though but I will learn. He also give me some extra knowledge and he want to teach me more someday. He sounds weird though cuz he keep mentioning about me being senior someday and all... I think it was way too fast to talk about all that. Now all I want to do is give my very best for my work and plan for my future. Life is kinda boring at times too.. I still do skouting but my intention there was just to chat and make friends. Of course the pretty girls don't reply because they think their pussy have pearl!! -.- Ain't life cruel? People say money don't mean a thing but money is worth so much... What are we living for? There is no one that could love you more than you could do to yourself. Of course there is no one who love you like God loves you... Now I'm still not up there but someday when I'm up there, I will sure make all women feels pathetic... I will make them realize what money can turns me into..... Yeah I'm soft-hearted but this heart with turns hard someday. Just need to keep the ball rolling.... Today CheChe call me... I don't know what she's up to but she told me my ex is coming singapore. So I say ok.. I told her I don't wanna be angry with anyone as I got everything in place and I just want no enemies around me. I want to work my way up there... She sounds ok but she ask me a favor to help her which I do not know what she gonna ask for. So now I'm just waiting for her to come to my place. Chances are she might want me to bring my ex gf here to singapore. I really have no idea though but it will be hard to answer her if that's her favor. I just don't wanna make used by people again... I still do miss my ex though but her attitude still remains the same... As cold as before but lets not talk about it. My sister wants to bring me to a malay club tonight... If luck is good I might just bring a bitch home with me.... Tomorrow still need wake up early to go my friend solemnization. She invited me and really wants me to be there.. She is my ex classmate who used to have a crushed on me actually back then....LOL She's nice though... My halfday starts only on the 26th of this month.... You can never force someone to love you, that's a fact... I'm gonna start loving myself so much and pampered myself with lots of things on payday... I'm not gonna give shit to any bitches and when I start to be arrogant, that's when you bitches will realize you're only worth my penny....