Sometimes I really wonder what it takes to be a good boyfriend.. Sigh I felt like all I did for her wasn't enough.. Sometimes when I am not wrong she makes it seems I am. Is it wrong for a boyfriend to get jealous when his girlfriend giving her attention on entertaining other guys? Sometimes I'm really upset cuz even she know a guy is a pervert, she still attend to their conversation or wish to talk or answer their call.. What really worries me cuz even at times she tell people that we just recently attached though we have been together for like 5 months.. I just don't and never will understand what she really want.. At a point of time, she tells me that I'm the only one for her but at another, she will be attracted to other guys and attend to their convo or favourite them in an online dating site. yes she does give me her password sometimes but still, she say she was there for a chat.. Even for a chat, she chose the person she wanna talk to.. According to her, she choose someone who can start a convo.. But sometimes some of these fool who just say hi also she attend to just because they are young and they look cool.. Now tell me why I shouldn't be worried about? When I ask her and pointed out my point, she will just get mad at me. What kind of relationship did I stucked into? I really never want this but at the same time I really love her.. There is really no compromise going on.. I stop chatting and making friends with the opposite partner ever since I'm with her.. I gave all my attention to her all the time I could but why am I getting all this bullshit? I don't think I deserve this.. Even when I'm very sad, I got to put a happy face upfront. No point I'm being upset cuz she will be pissed anyway.. Do I really deserve all this? My love is being taken for granted and I feel like I was being tortured emotionally.. All this happen because I love.... Damn!! :( I never would be happy if all the while I was treated like this .. I hope god show me the right way and save me from all this pain... I hope someday her mind and heart will be open and understand how she had been treating me all these while and stop doing that.... :')
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